Having Sex for the First Time: Everything You Want to Know
It’s normal to feel nervous before sex. Someone is afraid to disappoint the partner, and someone is afraid that partner will cause disappointment. Some have complexes about the body, others-about the number of partners. But it’s most difficult for the third – those who will have the first sex in their life.
There is no specific way to have sex – everyone has a different way. Remember it before you lose your virginity. You may have seen it in the movies, or you may have listened to your girlfriends’ stories.
In any case, forewarned is forearmed. Read our tips before you “do it”.
HAVING SEX IS NOT BAD AND SHAMEFUL
Let’s open a little secret. Every single person on Earth owes his life to sex. If it wasn’t for sex, there wouldn’t be you and me. Sex is not a shame or a bad thing, as is commonly believed in our society. And it’s created not only for procreation, but also that people who love each other can give each other pleasure.
Sex is not a missionary position or just a way to “please” a man. It’s another way to get closer to your loved one and find out what your body wants. To get a shot of endorphins and dopamine!
Approach the choice of a place for the first sex as consciously as possible. It must be convenient and safe, otherwise the risk of “wanted, but could not” will increase to the sky. It’s desirable that there is a shower and toilet nearby, where you can run (perhaps together) immediately after.
DON’T PRETEND TO HAVE AN ORGASM
In all adult movies, there is one end – the girl has an orgasm, then the guy or they do it at the same time. In life, this moment happens rarely (especially, a one-time orgasm). Don’t be afraid if you don’t get to experience this feeling of pleasure for the first time.
Moreover, having sex for the first time, very few people manage to reach an orgasm. Therefore, after watching a lot of movies, don’t scream or moan loudly, just be yourself and show your emotions only when you want to.
FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS
No conversations with your friends at pajama parties, Internet forums, or sexologist sessions will prepare you for the best sex of your life. Just ask him directly what kind of oral sex he prefers. But it’s better to practice, asking certain nuances during the process itself.
DECIDE ON A “SAFE WORD”
Agree on a safe word in advance, after which your partner immediately stops the process. It’s important in case something goes wrong. For example, one of you will get hurt. Or someone will change their mind about making physical love.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE HURT
Many girls are sure that sex for the first time is insanely painful. Yes, it may not be entirely pleasant or even awkward in some ways, but sex shouldn’t be painful.
Each girl has her own pain threshold. Some are experiencing the tortures of the damned, others not more than a little discomfort. It all depends on your perception, lubrication level and general mood. You don’t have to program yourself for pain. You just need to relax and trust the young man as much as possible. Warn him to start gently, accompanying the process with smooth progressive movements. Just a little, as they say.
WILL IT BLEED?
There is an ancient myth that is well established in our society. All virgins should bleed when they have sex for the first time. Yes, most girls bleed. It happened because the head of the penis touches a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening (hymen).
When the hymen is broken, a small amount of blood is damaged and released. If the hymen has increased elasticity, then there may be no blood. It doesn’t mean that girl isn’t a virgin. Just nature finds an individual approach to everyone.
GIVE UP YOUR FANTASIES
Especially rough ones. This is the first time for your body, and you don’t know yet how it will behave, what it will like or dislike. Therefore, let the first sex be as simple and classic as possible. You will try out ideas from porn movies later, when you have gained experience.
DON’T COMPARE YOUR FIRST SEX
Don’t take seriously other people’s stories. Everyone’s “first sex” is unique and cannot be repeated. You shouldn’t regret your first experience in any case. And don’t be depressed. Virginity isn’t something to be ashamed of or, on the contrary, to put on a pedestal. It’s a part of your body that sooner or later “leaves you”, and doesn’t characterize your personality in any way.
IT’S BETTER TO TELL THAT YOU’RE VIRGIN
You don’t have to tell your partner who you’ve had before. But if you are worried about this crucial moment, it’s better to admit that you are still virgin. So, you can relax a little bit and unburden yourself for this information. But your partner will take matters into his own hands, unless, of course, he is also a virgin.
ALWAYS PROTECT YOURSELF
If you don’t want your first experience to become sad with unpleasant surprises (STD or unwanted pregnancy), then in this case, a condom is your best assistant. Use it even if you are thinking of using oral contraceptives, as it will protect you from sexual infections or venereal diseases.
YOU CAN REFUSE AT ANY TIME
If you feel that you don’t like the process or you are under pressure, it’s better to say “no” immediately. Losing your virginity doesn’t mean that “if you have already gone, then go to the end”. If you feel uncomfortable, then you decide whether to continue having sex or not.
Lubrication will solve half the problems faced by a virgin. Everything will be smooth if you resort to lube. Don’t hesitate to buy it, or at least ask your partner to stop at a pharmacy or sex shop.
GO TO THE BATHROOM AFTER SEX RELATION
To avoid urinary system diseases, you must visit the bathroom after sex. There’s nothing shy about it. At the same time, you can wash yourself, so that you don’t suffer from cystitis attacks later.
SEX WILL BE BETTER EACH TIME
That’s right! Remember that if everything didn’t work out perfectly the first time, it will work out the next time! Sex will be no longer a torture, and you will start getting pleasure that will bring you closer to your partner.
Things Every Virgin Should Know