Mama’s Boy – You’re Dating His Mother Instead of Him
Being a loving mother is the destiny of women. But overprotection very often leads to the fact that a small boy doesn’t become a reliable and adult man. It’s difficult for him to build relationships with the opposite sex, because women are afraid of such guys.
Mama’s Boy Psychology — How to Recognize a Problem?
As a rule, girls notice that their chosen one is under his mother’s “cap” as soon as they start a relationship with a man. Mother constantly calls him, monitors every step, and asks what he ate for breakfast and what time he went to bed. His mother plies him with requests, gives him errands, and doesn’t even ask if he has any free time.
The main indicator is a man’s reaction. If he’s ready to postpone all his plans and rush across the city to his mother to change her phone settings or fulfill another trivial request, then you should think about it. Here is a classic Mama’s boy.
Such a man is characterized by irresponsibility and inability to make a decision. This is not surprising, because his mother always controlled him. In everyday life, he’s absolutely helpless, but in his career he can achieve success.
Mama’s boys often marry quite late. The prospects for marriage are minimal, because the mother will “open his eyes” to her child’s wife — she doesn’t take care of him well, doesn’t protect and doesn’t appreciate. Whether it’s his own mother — will give everything to make her son happy.
Such a man regularly tells his wife about his mother. He knows what she thinks about this or that situation, she constantly worries so as not to upset her. A dangerous symptom is when your chosen one passes everything to your mother. As a rule, then she shows her “competence” to daughter-in-law by adding a few sarcastic remarks.
Dependent men often live with their mother. They don’t know how to take care of themselves and don’t want to take responsibility. Even if the “boy” began to live separately, his mother is most likely a frequent guest in his house.
Another feature is that Mama’s boys don’t like scandals. Not because they’re peaceful, but because they just don’t know how to stand up for themselves. The problem is that mother didn’t want to bring up a personality in her son — it wasn’t profitable for her. It’s convenient for her to manage the child without his own opinion.
What Can a Relationship with Such a Man Bring?
Women shouldn’t flatter themselves with the hope that her chosen one will change, and your relationship will improve. It’s important to understand that potential mother-in-law will always be invisibly near. She’ll tell you where to relax, how to spend money, and when to go to bed. She’ll have an impact on her son once again, and he’ll usually listen to her, even if he’s in a serious relationship with the chosen one.
Mama’s boy psychology is that his wife will never be an ideal for him. You need to accept that you’ll always cook, wash, clean worse than his mother. If you see the advantages of your chosen one and you’re ready to fight for it, then you’ll need recommendations and advice of a psychologist.
Is It Possible to Build a Serious Relationship with Mama’s Boy?
It’s very difficult to build a relationship with a man who hasn’t grown up. It’s almost impossible to re-educate a person and change the scheme that they perceive as the only correct one.
Unfortunately, sometimes women realize that their chosen one is under the influence of the mother, only after the wedding. In this case, you have three options: accept, fight, or leave.
Let it go is the worst option. You’ll never be able to live in peace, because mother-in-law will always “penetrate” your relationship. She sees you as a competitor, so she’ll influence her son in any way, directing him to where it’s profitable for her. In any conflict, your spouse will support his mother. A woman who is aware of her value is unlikely to be able to accept this.
Marriage can have a favorable outcome if the woman is accomplished and self-sufficient. She’s able to take care of herself and doesn’t pay attention to all the features of her husband. The ideal option is when the wife is older. She indulges all his visions, and for him this situation is quite familiar, he’s comfortable in the “boy” state.
It’s advisable to give birth to a child from such a man only if you can provide for it yourself. Mama’s boy won’t be able to take responsibility and his participation in education will be minimal.
Advice from Psychologists: How to Save a Relationship?
If you decide to build a serious relationship, first of all, you should make friends with your future mother-in-law. It may seem impossible, but you have no other choice. Your relationship with the “boy” will be promising only when his mother allows him to be with you.
Never forbid your loved one to communicate with his mother. You shouldn’t show dissatisfaction with her words, actions and moralizing. Always praise his mother, show that she is an authority for you.
If your future mother-in-law gave you valuable instructions on any issue, and as a result nothing good happened, then note with bewilderment that you acted on her suggestion. Be a little bit of an actress — the game will help you smooth out the rough edges and keep a serious relationship.
Your task is to convince your future mother- in-law that you’re her ally. Then it’ll allow you to make some decisions on your own. But you must understand that your beloved one will never become the head of the family — he’ll live with an eye out for you. If you want to continue your relationship, then prepare for the fact that you will pull them.
To get your way in a relationship with a man who is under the “cap” of the mother, you need to act gently and diplomatically. When a “boy” doesn’t want to take responsibility, you have to create the conditions that he has to do it. Give him utility bills, ask him to pick up your coat from the dry cleaners, delegate authority to make purchases of products — gradually he’ll be socialized.
If you manage to convey to a man that he’s no longer a little boy, then he’ll try to make decisions on his own and grow up. Perhaps he’ll like his new state, and he’ll learn to live without psychological pressure from his mother and will be able to build a serious relationship.
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