Sex on the First Date
The first date is a very bright event so many myths, rulebooks, stereotypes and recommendations are dedicated to this. Sex on the first date happens quite often. There is a widespread belief that a man should achieve this, and a woman should resist. But in real life, this is quite different! But these beliefs have no practical value. First of all, it’s important to listen to your desires and inner voice, regardless of your intentions and the number of meetings.
What Men Are Waiting For?
First of all, any man wants to get confirmation that he invited you for a reason, that he’s irresistible, and he impressed you. On the one hand, it’s not necessary that sex on the first date becomes this confirmation. On the other hand, a woman shouldn’t delay their platonic relationships just because “it’s inappropriate”, or “she need to make him understand what kind of treasure he’ll get”, if in fact she feels that she is ready.
In the myth of male hunters who enjoy the long process of chasing and catching the victim, now believe, probably, only the “victims” themselves – that is women. Today, most men believe that if sex on the first date is not mandatory, then on the second or third date you need it like air. If it didn’t happen in the next few meetings, then there’s no need to waste time on such a relationship. Maybe there’s some truth in their beliefs. Otherwise, why would the phrase “I’m so damn attractive, you’re so damn attractive, is there any time to waste” become so popular?
What Women Should Be Afraid Of?
If your beau behaves as described below, be careful! It may even be that you’re another object on which he can hone his pickup skills. “Theoretically savvy” charmer, whose goal is to put you to bed immediately, is familiar with major limiting factors – female fears, and he acts like it too.
- He understands that deep down women are afraid of maniacs, so he’ll easily apply a psychological trick. For example, he’ll scare you with horror movies so much that you’ll feel like a complete idiot if you don’t trust him.
- He will behave like a gentleman, showing that your consent to sex won’t turn you into an easy woman in his eyes.
- He will try to minimize your beliefs that “the first time isn’t allowed”. So to the question “Where are we going?” you will hear anything but a concrete response. “Where I haven’t taken anyone yet”, “To Antarctica to see the penguins”. In other words, he’ll try to intrigue you or turn your question into a joke.
Why Is It So Scary To Say “YES”?
Myth – Good girls don’t do that
Reality – Good girls also have the right to a happy family life. Sometimes it’s good to be selfish. Imagine that you decided to postpone sex until your wedding night. And then, on this night, it turns out that your husband’s temperament is not the one you were expected? Remember that you have the right to try and evaluate just like him. The thing that didn’t fit, you can try to pass back to the store, and what to do with your spouse? Who needs disappointed expectations?
Myth – He will definitely decide that you’re a girl of easy virtue.
Reality – It depends on the man. As a rule, the length of the relationship “before sex” usually doesn’t affect the further development of events. In other words, your agreement to get to know each other immediately doesn’t give you a reason to consider you a whore. Moreover, it doesn’t affect the seriousness of his intentions.
Why Is It So Scary To Say “NO”?
Myth – Your “no” automatically means the end of everything
Reality – Maybe yes, and maybe not. In any case, you’ll win. Why do you need someone around who only wants sex? If you disagree simply because you’re not ready to rush things, convey this idea to the man. At least, give him a hint at the future prospects so that he doesn’t despair. Otherwise, continuing the never-ending courting process, a man can “burn out” and start looking for another girl.
Myth – He will definitely leave you if you don’t agree on contraception
Reality – You cannot determine “by eye” who is healthy and who is sick. So remember the phrase “either way or no way”, regardless of when sex should happen (on the first or tenth date), and feel free to use it. In this case, it really doesn’t matter what a man thinks, if you don’t agree to the option offered by him, health is more expensive.
In the chain “first date – sex – serious relationship” any link can be broken, and not only through your fault. A man may not call for various reasons, and sex on the first date isn’t the only explanation for this. He may not call because you’re too good to be with him, or because he’s not sure he was up to it, or because he didn’t like the way you behave in bed. There are plenty of options. In any case, it’s better to regret after you act, instead of regretting after you don’t do anything. In any case, don’t beat yourself up about this. Same chance as he suggests you to start living together immediately, or marry him as soon as possible. The main thing is compatibility. If you’re a match made in heaven, you’ll be together no matter when you became close.
Women Talk About Sex On The First Date