Dating Your Ex Again Is a Good Idea
No matter how convinced we are that the past should remain in the past, life sometimes proves the opposite. When people split up, they don’t know what lies ahead. Sometimes they find their soul mate in another person. But sometimes former lovers return to each other after some time — and find true happiness, despite the prejudices.
What should you take into account when deciding to start a relationship with an ex, and how to distinguish real feelings from memories of a happy past?
TRUTHFULNESS AND HONESTY
Before resuming a relationship with an ex-boyfriend, you should ask questions and give them truthful answers: What was the reason for the first breakup? How did you break up? What feelings are left?
You need to sort out the details immediately: the desire to get together is only pleasant memories from the distant past, or really old feelings flared up again. You shouldn’t be misled by your emotions and resume relationships only as a salvation from loneliness. Such a relationship will be doomed to repeated failure.
So that an affair with a former lover doesn’t become the embodiment of the saying “walk twice into the same water”, don’t rush to jump into the deep end. Find the strength to invite a man to the negotiating table — even if it’ll be a table in your favorite restaurant in a romantic setting — and talk openly. It’ll be particularly relevant if your breakup was pretty heated. Probably a man and a woman just need to express all that has accumulated in a calm atmosphere, so to speak, put the things right.
It may well turn out that you both need not a new relationship, but an opportunity to put the things right and finally say goodbye, without holding grudges against each other.
TALK ABOUT TRUST
If your relationship broke up because someone broke one partner’s trust, it’s also worth discussing and understanding how each of you understands things like loyalty, infidelity, and openness. Try to understand whether you can have any secrets from each other, what is acceptable for you, and what is generally unacceptable.
GET READY TO START FRESH
If you decide for yourself that you can start a relationship with your ex, keep in mind that it’ll be a completely new relationship, and it’s not another chapter of a once-interrupted novel — otherwise, like that novel, it’ll end in a breakup. Of course, you should take into account your past mistakes, so as not to repeat the previous scenario. But it’s important to be able to abandon past resentments and omissions, having made the necessary conclusions. The past should be left in the past.
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
Restoring a relationship with a former partner won’t avoid attention from relatives, friends, and familiar people. With one voice, they will say that people don’t change, that no one can step twice into the same river. You need to be patient and resilient with people who will comment on your actions.
What happens between two people when they are at home, only they know. There are many positive examples when people experienced numerous quarrels, conflicts, divorces and came back, before they realizes that it’s their soul mate. After this experience, such couples achieved harmony and mutual understanding. Sometimes it takes just such a difficult path to learn the necessary lessons.
KNOW EACH OTHER AGAIN
One of the main advantages of a relationship with an ex-lover is that you already know each other quite well. You’re aware of his habits and characteristics, he knows your character, you know what to expect from each other in sex. In short, you’re already initially close enough to pass the stage of habituation. On the other hand, the thrill of first dates and the giddy excitement of first kisses are initially excluded from your scenario — precisely because you don’t need to get to know each other.
If you feel that you don’t have enough romance — don’t rush: try to recreate the period of courtship, dating, let the man re-conquer you. For such a sustained foreplay, you’ll need patience, but if you’re serious about a new start with your former lover, your efforts will certainly pay off.
Why You Should Get Back Together With Your Ex